Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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