What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
