I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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