she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize