Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
