She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
