He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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