I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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