so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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