Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
