i don't like sucking hair
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
