I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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