i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
