If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Welp...herpes.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
