I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
