i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
