I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize