Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
