Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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