WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
