so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
