The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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