yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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