I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize