Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
