I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
