you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
