New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
