thus making me awesome and them whores
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
