Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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