Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
