wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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