it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
