This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
