There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
