My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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