420 ftw
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
