Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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