If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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