Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
