I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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