But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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