and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
