Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
