I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
