So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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