All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
