Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
