K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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