Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
