I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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