TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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