Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You left your phone here
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