did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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