I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Someone came in the potted fern
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
