we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
