guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize