theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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